Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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