Are we in a gay sports bar?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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