Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
