You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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