I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
