We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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