i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
