I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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