it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
