am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
