Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
