I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
