Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize