Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
