I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
