I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
