Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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