Already got asked if we're dating
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
