So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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