he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
