YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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