Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
