he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
