I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize