capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i will never coherently bang her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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