70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
