so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
