it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
