Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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