Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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