i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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