I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
