This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Randomize
