Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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