Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
