trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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