I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
