i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
