yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up under a house in Key West
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
