party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
