I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
