I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize