We're like a lot better than the average bears
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
