I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
