Kiss
Puke
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize