Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
