I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
