the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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