apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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