i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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