Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He passed out mid-signature
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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