how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
