Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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