Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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