I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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