Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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