its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
