I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
