I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize