He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
