he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you win again, gameday.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
